No, this is not about the stupid TV serial where XI standard students are taught history, chemistry and accountancy in the same stream; where the school mysteriously turns into a college and the uniforms disappear into thin air. This is about an equally irritating phenomenon – the ‘revival’ of the golden oldies.

Who says there are no shortcuts to success? Even if you are musically challenged, you can make it big in the industry without having to go through the ordeal of being humiliated by the judges while competing with other bathroom singers on national television. Just pick up an old hit, add some monotonous percussion and psychedelic electronic noises. Sprinkle some rap (unintelligible words read out against music), though that’s optional. Get some midriff baring, cleavage revealing teens to gyrate before a camera (this is compulsory). If you can get them wet, better. Give yourself an anonym (the prefix DJ is obligatory). And you have your 15 minutes of fame, until your milkman gets through with his recording.

Q: What is the state of Punjab’s No. 2 occupation?

A: Agriculture

[For the uninitiated, Punjab is India’s leading producer in agriculture. Of late the state has also witnessed a boom in the pop music industry, though not necessarily of the remixed variety]

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